


Violation

by supernaturallylost



Series: Mental Health [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dark, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Past Rape/Non-con, Rape Aftermath, Repressed Memories, Suffering Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-29
Updated: 2015-03-29
Packaged: 2018-03-20 03:47:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3635442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supernaturallylost/pseuds/supernaturallylost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Long ago, Dean witnessed abuse of his brother. Pooling all of his knowledge, he'd found a way to take those memories and that pain from the young Sam Winchester and transfer it to himself. Sam remembers nothing. Dean remembers it all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Violation

Dean could feel the blood running down his legs. Drops landed on the ground beneath him. Rashes from the ropes suspending him burned and ached and throbbed, but he was not struggling now. He wasn’t doing anything. His eyes were open, at least. He stared as his blood fell.

_Drip. Drip drip._

His legs were spread, each ankle fastened to the piers on either side. His arms were bound above his head where they could pull his shoulders backward. His body could no longer resist the ropes. There was no fight in him.

A light fell onto his face. He saw a spotlight and he knew what it meant. He didn’t breathe. He didn’t blink. He only waited.

There. There they were. Laughing.

“Let’s play a game,” one said. “Who can make him scream the loudest.”

Dean heard the crack of a whip.

_Drip, drip._

 

Dean heaved. Acid rose from his stomach, burned his throat, and repulsed his tongue. A greenish-yellow mucus came out of him as he leaned against the ropes. Into the blood beneath him, he spat.

His back stung, but he didn’t whine. He only stared forward.

Again, he heard the drops of blood as they fell from his thighs, his knees, his ankles.

The light returned.

Dean couldn’t scream. He couldn’t fight. He couldn’t resist.

It grabbed him from above. It burned into his arm, through the skin. It seared into his very soul.

“Castiel,” he whispered hoarsely, brokenly.

They laughed. More hands touched him, burned him, branded him.

Everything wreaked of it. Everything looked like it. Everything sounded like it. Violation.

 

Dean awoke to the sound of the faucet dripping in the bathroom. Sam was sound asleep in the hotel bed beside him. Castiel was watching faithfully from the table.

“Something wrong?” Cas asked lightly.

Dean stared. He felt tired, weak, lost.

“Dean?”

He startled. He grasped his sheets. He felt the beads of sweat falling all around him onto the bed.

“Nightmare?” Cas whispered softly from across the room.

Dean closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. He bit his tongue to keep from screaming. All of the sudden, his body felt like fire and lead and air. He lost himself in the dream, he lost his bearings, he lost his grasp of reality.

“Dean?”

Dean tried to breathe.

No. It was only a dream. It was only a dream.

Except all dreams come from somewhere, don’t they?

Dean turned to Sam and felt the tears fall. He remembered Sam, lost, dazed, confused, trapped in the back of the alley with four large men surrounding him. He remembered Sam, young, innocent, hurt, abused in the back of the alley. He’d stormed in with his father’s gun. He’s killed those men where they stood. He’d done what he could to protect Sam.

He’d taken Sam’s memory.

He’d taken Sam’s pain.

No. It was only a dream to him. Sam, too, had these nightmares, but he didn’t know why. He brushed them away easily. But Dean… Dean held onto them. He couldn’t escape them or repress them. He had to keep them away from Sam. He had to save Sam from the torture.

“Dean?”

He laid himself back down against the bed and tried to breathe.

He could still smell it. He could still feel it. He could still see it.

Violation.

**Author's Note:**

> I can't properly articulate the reason for this piece, so I'm going to leave you to your own conclusions. What you do need to know, however, is that I love you very, very much. Everything will be okay.


End file.
